Blog-servations ...

For all of the people around the world the illustrious George W. Bush has alienated, disenfranchised, and utterly confused, he has made the lives of two types of people much, much easier. One is satirical journalists / "political" comedians, because when have they had such a smörgåsbord of material? And, two, snarky Internet nerds who like to make animated graphics of celebrities and demure political figures dancing or generally just doing ridiculous stuff. Click the preceding words to see what I mean. He's either made their lives a lot easier or left them without a hobby. Either way, at least they can focus on Bill Clinton.

It's odd and blasphemous, but a lot of lefties are finding Bush to be more likable now that he's riding into the sunset. Well, maybe not likable, but certainly laughable. That's akin to likable, right? Truly, though, he's turned into some sort of surreal court jester. It's like he's rubbing the fact that he's probably going to leave office NOT via impeachment in the collective face of the American people. He's pounding podiums, he's balking at pervasive analyst statements (he'd never heard about $4 oil before, I guess), and generally just acting like a caricature of a world leader. He's even gone self-referential with his low approval ratings, acknowledging that maybe not supporting McCain would help him win. Tongue in cheek, I know, but there are kernels of truth in that statement. Even he knows it. And, by kernels, I mean the vast cornfields of Nebraska. I wonder how many hours of Minesweeper he plays per day during these final months.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to find a substantial explanation on why his endorsement of McCain was such a hooplah. I mean, if there was any president who would endorse an ineligible candidate, it would be this one ... but still, what other choice did he have? I guess I don't understand the importance of what I see as an arbitrary formality. Of course, this American politics and the entire system is filled with formality and ceremony and gestures of no real consequence. It's funny the rules and etiquette politicians adhere to when you consider that which they simply ignore. I've been fortunate enough to attend a political ball and an inaguration in my time and they epitomize the words "pomp and circumstance". It's quite amusing really. Just seems like a weird process when there are so many substantial things to focus on. Like, say, legislation. Ah, alas, we must have our galas and our celebrations. Glory be to the king.

In other news, the current season of Survivor is awesome. I really despise television in general, but I cannot escape Survivor. It's my guilty pleasure that I don't feel that guilty about. Survivor would be my "desert island" TV series. Not only would it be infinitely useful, but endlessly entertaining. This season, filmed in often-mistaken-for-fictional Micronesia, has been confusing and full of twists. As I've read, Survivor is one of, if not the only, reality shows that isn't manipulated by the producers. It broke my heart to discover that Last Comic Standing was pre-determined and shaped by the powers that be at NBC. I mean, it was a mediocre show celebrating mediocre comedians (save John Heffron), but stand-up comedy is my gospel and to watch it defiled kills me. Maybe that's why my love for Survivor endures. It's pure. Pure in the sense that it's "reality" on "television" ... but its relative unadulteration still appeals to me.

In fact, next next season, I'll definitely be submitting an application for future casting calls. No "Sole Survivor" has ever gone on to do something selfless with the winnings and I'd love to land on the island with that goal. Go on, win, give at least half of the after-tax prize to a non-profit of my choosing and use the rest to do volunteer work around the world for a year or two. I'd like to be left with about $100,000 out of that million for traveling and investing. How much money does one person need at any given time, anyway? Seems superfluous to me. Can you imagine the kind of exposure and goodwill that would garner for non-profit organizations and relief work? It'd weave itself a nice tale and manifest something positive and progressive out of something trivial and regressive. It'd be beautiful. I'm going to at least apply. No joke.

Lastly, while I'm proud to say that Barack Obama is my candidate of choice this year and have been impressed by the level of support and excitement he has been able to provoke, I still can't fathom the amount of money being spent in political campaigns. And these are only the goddamn primaries. I'll need a defibrillator when I see figures for the general election. Obama managed to raise a record-setting $55 million in February. $55 million. According to his e-communications, 90% of the donors pledged $100 or less apiece, assembling a truly tremendous following of supporters. Both in commitment and diversity. You know where a lot of those funds went? Texas and Ohio. States in which he made considerable gains, but ultimately did not win. The amount of money is at the same time remarkable and rebukable.

Now, sure, that's tallied in American dollars, so $55 million really isn't as much as it sounds like (zing!), but that amount of money will still buy quite a bit in Bushian '08. This discussion is old hat for some and trite for others, but the fact is that the stakes are continually being raised and I wonder when it's time to finally say "enough". Not only is $55 million a financial benchmark and resource, it's also used as a political chess move. In other words, Americans' motivations, even those political, are still influenced by dollar signs. These figures are touted by the candidates like they are credentials. While they may be accomplishments and while money may still "talk", I hope its silver tongue falls on deaf ears of the undecided. It's just money. Though it may buy thousands of 30-second TV spots and print millions of flyers, these are never a substitute for platforms and policies. I honestly can't believe mudslinging still works. It literally boggles my fucking mind that the pull of a (voting) lever can be determined by the push of a (remote control) button. Isn't that completely outrageous to anyone else? Each generation has its propaganda.

Don't listen, LEARN! As savvy as us Americans claim to be, we still froth at the mouth after a good dog-and-pony show. It's time to put the dog to sleep and send the pony to the glue factory. I don't know much - in fact I know very little - but I know that if we ignore them, they will go away.

P.S. I realize this is getting long, but I do have one post script that I'd be remiss if I didn't mention. Somehow a gentleman from Australia stumbled across my last blog entry. He took the time, put finger to key, and sent me a truly nice message about enjoying my "poem". (I put that in quotes as to not offend actual poets who spend more than an hour on their creations.) To say the least, that was really, really cool and gratifying. So, if he's reading this, thanks again. I encourage others to write with their questions, comments, and even objections, if they're feeling froggy. Anyway, I thought that was pretty neat. Just happy to know this comes across someone's screen and provides some level of entertainment or amusement or ... whatever. As long as it's something. Except Islamo-facism, 'cause I do NOT endorse that shit. Whatever it even means, Rush.